


Party Like it's Kirk's Birthday

by therumjournals



Category: Star Trek XI
Genre: Alcohol, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-06
Updated: 2009-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-17 15:59:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumjournals/pseuds/therumjournals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Jim Kirk's birthday.  Break out the booze.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Party Like it's Kirk's Birthday

Jim Kirk had exercised remarkable restraint during his brief tenure as captain of the Starship Enterprise. That is, he hadn't put the moves on any pretty young ensigns, hadn't propositioned anyone from the more-than-willing Engineering department, hadn't gotten his CMO _or_ his first officer drunk and tried to seduce them - basically, he'd been a freaking monk. So he decided to take his upcoming birthday celebration as a chance to live a little, and began narrowing down a list of potential targets.

Unfortunately, Jim found it rather difficult to cross any of his entirely-too-attractive crew off the list. Security Officer Cupcake was off, for obvious reasons. He sighed as he crossed off Uhura's name, but why set himself up for failure. After some internal debate, he removed Keenser from the list. He had nothing against interspecies relationships, obviously, but Keenser just wasn't his type. And that was about it. The remaining list was intimidatingly long, and left no chance of actually deciding.

Perhaps he would have to take a different approach. He slid into a seat across from Uhura in the mess hall.

"Hey Uhura. Coming to my birthday party?"

"I suppose someone will have to keep an eye on you."

"Very funny. Come on, I've been a very good boy!"

"True. And exactly the reason why I feel like someone should be on hand to protect you from yourself, especially in the presence of copious amounts of contraband alcohol.

"Wait Uhura - are you telling me there is contraband alcohol aboard this ship?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Shut up. I know you encouraged it."

"I would never!"

"Captain, I saw the memo. What did it say, something like 'Starfleet recommends that you bring aboard any personal effects that you will need to thrive during the mission. PS - Bring booze."

"I think I was a little more subtle."

"Uh huh."  
"Anyway, why are you so worried about me now?"  
"Oh possibly because it's a well known fact that there are at least 5 or 6 officers who have been dying to get in your pants."

"Oh reeeeaaaally?"

Uhura cursed. Like she needed to be responsible for boosting Kirk's ego.

"I'm not saying another word."

"Fine. I'll say a name, and if it's someone who wants to seduce me, blink twice. Let's see...Gaila."

Uhura rolled her eyes, but didn't blink.

"Dammit, you're not playing!"

"Listen, Kirk. Because I know you can't hold up this prude act you've been playing at for the past 6 months, and because I think it would probably be best for you to get some before you compromise some diplomatic mission by ogling an ambassador's wife, I'll let you in on a little secret."

"What? Really? Are you drunk?"

"No. But I am up for a promotion."

"Duly noted. Go on."

"Let's just say that a little birdie told me that the crew has a friendly contest going to see who can be the first to seduce you. Your little birthday party is where it's supposed to go down. I suggest you remain...alert."

"Alert? Alert's no fun! I plan to get trashed off my ass."

Uhura nodded. "Yeah, I thought you might. And that is exactly what the crew is expecting - and hoping to encourage."

"Uhura."

"Yes, Captain?" she replied wearily.

"This is going to be the best party ever."

* * *

Jim Kirk took naturally to the role of birthday boy. He sat sprawled in a chair in the middle of the mess hall as the crew milled around him, a paper crown perched jauntily on his head and a shit-eating grin on his face. Bones leaned over his shoulder. "Mommy make you that crown?"

"I made it myself."

Bones rolled his eyes. "I don't think the birthday boy is supposed to make his own crown, Jim."

"Why not? Did you make me one?"

"No."

"Well, there you go. I couldn't very well NOT have a crown on my birthday, could I?"

Bones gave him a look and left for the bar. "Call me when you're normal," he called back to the captain.

Kirk stuck his tongue out. "Hey, can't a birthday boy get any booze around here," he asked out loud to no one in particular.

"I have a better idea," said Gaila. "Let's give the Captain his presents!"

"Oooh, presents!" Kirk was rubbed his hands together in excitement.

"How old are you again?" Bones asked, wandering back with a drink in hand. "Six or seven?"

"Ha ha."

The crew had assembled around Kirk, bearing gifts, looking for all the world like loyal subjects of a kingdom. He could get used to this.

Gaila bounced to the front of the group to hand him a beautifully wrapped package. Kirk tore through about 5 layers of colorful, glittery, elaborate wrapping to reveal a bottle of Andorian Ale. Gaila leaned forward, smiling. “It matches your eyes,” she cooed. Indeed, the ale was a lovely shade of blue.

He uncapped it and took a swig. “Whoo! That’s delicious. Packs a punch, too. Thanks Gaila!” He offered her the bottle. She took it from him and threw back a long swig. She handed the bottle back to him. “Wow, Gaila. I hope Orions can handle their liquor.” There was a thump and Kirk looked down to see Gaila passed out and breathing deeply on the floor. “Ah. Guess not.”

Sulu stepped up next. “Captain, I would like to present you with sake, a traditional alcoholic Japanese beverage.” He held a tray with a beautiful stone carafe and two small sake cups. He set the tray down and poured sake into the two cups, then passed one to the captain.

“Sulu, are you serious? This is the tiniest shot glass I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“It’s not a shot glass, Captain, it’s a sake cup.”

“A tiny sake cup. Here, give me that carafe.

Jim grabbed the carafe of sake off of the tray and brought it to his lips. He paused. "This isn't a culturally appropriate way to drink sake, is it?"

"No sir."

Jim looked at the carafe and licked his lips. "Will any wars be started or planets destroyed if I do this?"

"No sir," said Sulu with a smile.

"Excellent." He took a long sip. "Delicious. I could really go for some raw fish right now."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Spock curl his lip slightly. "Sushi, Spock. It's...never mind." He turned back to Sulu. "Thank you, Sulu. That was wonderful."

Scotty was the next to approach. His present wasn't so much wrapped as it was stuffed into a paper bag with the neck of the bottle sticking out the top. Kirk pulled it out to reveal a half-empty bottle of Scotch. Kirk let out a long whistle. "Aged 16 years. Good stuff, eh, Scotty? Great present!"

"Er, actually, Captain," Scotty began, pulling a glass out of his pocket, "I was kinda hopin' to get the bottle back. You're welcome to a wee drink though."

Kirk leaned forward. "Now Scotty, how do you think one shot is going to get me drunk enough to-" He was interrupted by Uhura doing a little coughing move with her hand over her mouth. Oh right. He wasn't supposed to know about the seduction plans.

"Never mind. Thank you Scotty," he said, handing the bottle back to him and sipping from the glass he was offered in return. "Wonderful. Very oaky flavor. Very smoky. Very...hokey-pokey."

Scotty raised his eyebrows. "If ya don't mind me sayin' Captain, I think you're well on your way to being drunk enough to do...anything."

Kirk grinned and raised the glass. "Good point, Scotty lad. Who's next?!"

Chekov approached nervously, holding out a bottle. "Ze best Russian wodka, Keptin."

"Vodka! Excellent! Do I get more than one shot?" he asked, looking pointedly at Scotty.

Chekov grinned slyly and held up a second bottle. "I come prepared."

"Ha! Good thinking!"

Scotty defended himself. "My stash is running low! It's Keenser! I can't keep him away from the stuff."

"Uh huh, I'm sure." He smiled to let him know that there were no hard feelings and turned his attention to the ice cold vodka in his hand. He uncapped his bottle, as did Chekov, and they both took a couple swallows. Kirk pulled the bottle away from his lips and watched wide-eyed as Chekov continued gulping for another 20 seconds. "Impressive. Do you do that every morning before you arrive on shift?" he asked, winking.

"I could not function any other way," Chekov shot back with a grin.

Kirk smiled, shaking his head. He glimpsed Spock standing behind Chekov. He couldn't tell for sure, but he had a feeling Spock was getting a little anxious to present his gift. He motioned him forward.

Spock stepped up, paused, and handed Kirk a bottle wrapped in a lovely fabric. Kirk pulled the bottle out and looked at it, raised an eyebrow, and looked at Spock. "Spock, you got me...Bacardi?"

"It is my understanding that it is an Earth custom to sip Bacardi on one's birthday. Unfortunately, I was unable to ascertain what was meant by 'in da club'."

Kirk grinned. "Oh Spock. You are adorable. Come here, you're getting a kiss just for this."  
Spock raised his eyebrows, but leaned forward slightly. Kirk reached up and pulled him down, capturing his lips in a kiss which quickly deepened as their tongues met in a slow, languid dance. Jim was thinking that he could really get used to this. But there was one more gift he was expecting....

He pulled back, finally, breathing deeply, his face flushed. Spock almost fell over trying not to let him go, but quickly regained his composure, standing up and moving away from the captain. Kirk gave him one last smirk before turning his attention back to the rest of his audience.

"Bones! You've been waiting so patiently. Come up here."

Bones rolled his eyes. "Yes, your majesty," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

He walked over, holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. Jim held out a hand for it, but Bones pulled back, holding the bottle just out of reach. Jim was about to start pouting when Bones leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Jim's eyes widened and he broke into a grin. He stood up, holding a bottle of vodka like a scepter. "Thank you so much everyone for sharing your contraband alcohol with me. The Engineers at spacedock couldn't figure out why the Enterprise was carrying about 3,000 pounds of extra weight when we left, and I think we now know why. I've always said that the Enterprise has the hardest working crew in Starfleet, but I'm even more proud now to know that we also have the hardest partying crew! Enjoy the rest of the party, drink up-" he gestured to the bottles that surrounded his chair "-and Spock!" He pointed at his first officer. "I want to see you passed out on the floor with an empty bottle of Bacardi next to you by the time I get back. Preferably with your pants in a completely different part of the room." He turned to the others. "Come on guys, isn't there anyone who can help a Vulcan out?"

Uhura strode up, grabbed the bottle of vodka out of Kirk's hands, and grabbed Spock by the arm to pull him across the room.

"That's what I'm talking about."

* * *

Kirk followed Bones to his quarters and took a seat on his bed. He crossed his legs, uncapped the bottle of Jack Daniels, and took a hearty swig.

"Please Jim, can we be a little civilized?" asked Bones, producing two crystal tumblers. He handed one to Jim and, taking the bottle, poured them both a nice amount.

"Jeez, Bones, this is just downright classy!"

They clinked glasses, and Bones said "Happy Birthday, Jim."

Jim smiled dreamily at him and said "I'm so glad it was you, Bones."

"So glad it was me what?"

Jim's smile faded. "You know...that you won."

"Won what?"

"Won the contest of who gets to seduce me?"

"Jim, what are you talking about?"

Jim's brow was furrowed and his mouth hung open in confusion. Bones couldn't help it. He leaned forward and brushed a kiss across those gorgeous lips. Bones pulled back, smiling, his eyes laughing.

Jim frowned, still not quite sure. "What the hell, Bones?!"

Bones took Jim's glass out of his hand and set it aside. He took Jim's face in his hands and pulled him into a long, soft kiss. Jim pulled back to look at him.

"So, wait..."

"Jim." Bones quieted him with a finger on his lips and nodded. A look of relief crossed Jim's face, followed by a look that held only lust and desire, as he parted his lips and took Bones' finger into his mouth, sucking it lightly, catching Bones' gaze with hooded eyes.

"Fuck," said Bones, and he pushed Jim onto his back and climbed on top of him, sliding a hand up under his shirt. He bit lightly at Jim's neck, sucked and nipped at the skin of his jawline, until finally their mouths met and they kissed, hard, their tongues sliding together, neither wanting to come up for air. When they finally pulled apart Jim was panting and the floodgates of his lust were opened, letting loose what six months of celibacy had contained.

"God, Bones," he breathed, as Bones pushed his shirt up higher to place light kisses on his chest. Jim was thrusting his hips, desperate, but Bones took his time, his fingers lightly tracing Jim's ribs, his teeth scraping against Jim’s nipples.

Jim groaned again and pushed himself up onto his elbows. "Jesus, Bones, do I have to dip my dick in whiskey or what?"

Bones got up on his hands and knees, crouching over him, and leaned close. "You just earned yourself another five minutes of teasing, birthday boy."

"Arrrggghh!" Jim groaned in frustration, dropping his head back onto the pillow.

Bones couldn't make himself wait five minutes though, so it was more like thirty seconds until he was between Jim's legs, unzipping his pants, nuzzling and kissing along the inside of his thighs. He licked a stripe up the length of Jim’s perfect cock, then blew lightly on it, smiling as Jim writhed in desperate anticipation. He’d been waiting so long for this. A little too long, if the number of times he’d caught himself staring at the bulge in the captain’s uniform was any indication. He swirled his tongue around the tip, tasting Jim, feeling the heat of his desire, listening to Jim whimper in response. Finally Bones stopped taunting, and took Jim’s cock into his mouth as far as he thought he could, then farther, wanting to give everything to Jim, wanting it to feel amazing. And he could tell that it did, as Jim’s hips twitched upward, involuntarily. Bones relaxed, letting Jim thrust into his mouth, listening to the stream of “fuck, Bones, fuuuck,” that was coming from Jim’s mouth. Bones ground his own erection into the mattress. He gripped Jim’s hips and sucked hard, looking up just enough to notice how dark blue Jim’s eyes turned with lust, then Jim was coming and it was all he could do to hold on and drink him in.

Bones pulled away with the intention of collapsing onto the mattress next to Jim, but he stopped in his tracks at the sight of him. Jim’s chest heaved and his skin glistened with sweat. His eyes were closed and his mouth was partly open, and his fists still gripped the blankets, and he looked so thoroughly fucked that Bones wanted to go back in time 15 minutes and do it all again. Or, alternatively, wait 15 minutes and do it again. Good Lord. He dragged himself alongside Jim, placed a hand on his chest and lay small kisses along his damp jawline, calming him. He could feel Jim’s heart pounding underneath his hand. “Six months?” he said softly, with a smile, his lips in Jim’s hair.

“Six months,” Jim confirmed, his breath slowing and a smile creeping across his lips.

“Worth the wait?”

Jim turned his head to look at him. “I wish I hadn’t waited,” he said, a little too seriously.

Bones grinned and leaned closer to whisper in Jim’s ear. “Am I gonna have to dip my dick in whiskey, or what?” he asked.

“I thought I was the birthday boy,” Jim whispered back, the smile back on his face.

“Do you want this to only happen once a year?” Bones returned, quietly.

Jim sat up quickly, rolling Bones onto his back before eagerly scooting down between his legs. He slid his hands under Bones, giving his ass a squeeze before leaning down to nudge Bones’ shirt up, planting a line of kisses across his firm stomach. He took the top of Bones’ pants between his teeth and with a quick jerk of his head, the button was undone, which Jim quickly followed with a yank of the zipper. He glanced up at Bones, smirking. “Look, no hands.”

“Braggart,” Bones growled down at him. “I thought you were out of practice.”

“It’s been a while, but really…they’re very similar to Academy uniforms.”

Bones smacked him on the head and lay back, ready to make up for three years of apparently missed opportunities. He felt Jim’s warm breath on his aching cock and waited for the slick warmth that would be Jim’s mouth sliding around him. When a few seconds passed without feeling it, he lifted his head and looked down.

"Bones," Jim said, at him from where he was sexily sprawled between his legs. "I'm not sure you really deserve this. You scared the shit out of me before."

Bones huffed in frustration, but couldn’t help a small smile. "Sorry Jim, but you should have seen your face. Absolutely priceless."

"I thought you were serious! I was about to get up and go find Chekov, because I was not about to end this night without getting some!"

Bones pushed himself up on his elbows. "Chekov?! Chekov was my competition?"

"Well, and Spock, but Uhura seemed so happy, I just couldn't get in the way of that."

Bones growled and reached out to grab Jim by the hair, pushing him down.

"Ow! Bastard!" Jim was smiling though, and more than happy to comply. He took Bones into his mouth, slowly, savoring. He could have sworn that Bones actually did taste like whiskey. He gripped the base of Bones’ cock and squeezed, twisting his hand a little, as Bones made sounds he would not want to be reminded of in the morning. Jim fought the urge to smile and instead moved his tongue against Bones, sucked hard, and looked up at Bones through long eyelashes, sending him over the edge. Bones bucked up, pressing his cock deeper into Jim’s mouth as he came. Jim swallowed eagerly then slid up to kiss Bones on the lips and nuzzle his neck sleepily.

“I’m drunk on you,” he said, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“You’re drunk on something,” Bones said, rolling his eyes, but unable to hide his own smile..

"Bones?"

"Yeah."

"Pass the whiskey."

Bones grabbed the bottle from the side table and took a swig. Jim raised his eyebrows.

"No glass? How uncouth." He reached for the bottle, but Bones pulled it back and kissed him hard on the lips instead.

“Happy birthday, Jim.”

Jim raised the bottle. “And many more.”

The End  



End file.
